Bailee Matthews

I absolutely LOVED taking pictures of Bailee. She is a close friend of mine. She is stunning, need I say more? The pictures say it all. I'm completely jealous. Model status for sure.

rearranged thoughts.

I've been thinking a lot about the past, and how I spent my time and the people in it. Do I miss it? ABSOLUTELY. I love my life now, but the way things used to be seemed so perfect. It almost hurts to look back at those times, mainly because now when I look at those people I see how much they have changed. And how much trust I have lost in them. It's almost heart breaking to see it. There is certain things that I wish stayed the same. It is hard when you put your trust into someone after they hurt you once, not thinking if they would hurt you again. And the next thing you know. It's back to the same thing and your heart is broken all over again. I've tried so hard not to make it bother me, but it keeps nagging me in the back of my head. Especially on the days when you have absolutely nothing to do, so you start to analyze your life and it pops up in your head yet again? I need to get over it, I need to move on. Frankly, I have.. but there are still those days where i think about it. I miss what we had... I miss HIM.

dot dot dot

You have all heard of "dot dot dot". When the sentence isn't closed off and it has left you hanging like there is something more. Recently I have closed some of the people I care most about with that "..." and let me tell you, it was not easy. There has been major changes I have made in my life. Changes that I never thought I'd be making, but in the past year I knew i needed to. I was afraid of doing this, but the key of change, is to let go of fear. But the things I know I am leaving behind, I also know what is ahead of me, and that there is more to life. Like everyone says, "when one door closes, another opens". I was at the point where I was TOO comfortable, and I had no motivation to want to be better or do better... so I needed to get out of my comfort zone and experience more things, bigger things. Especially to see if it was just me feeling that way or if it was the place I was at. People change, whether we like it or not. And we have to accept that. At times like these, I have also been able to see who my true friends were. To see how people treated me once they knew... whether they acted the same towards me, completely ignored me, or felt betrayed. And it really came out through a lot of them. I was also able to get incite from people other then my friends and family to see if what I was doing could benefit me. And with the decision I have made I feel that it will. But there is no doubt that I will miss the people and things I have left behind. But if they are truly my friends, they will always have my back no matter what I do. Thank you Studio 1 for everything you have done, i'll miss having you in my life.

ten things.

ten. Favorite Places to be.

1. studio one (my second home)
2. hawaii
3. at my house
4. my bed
5. in the mountains
6. at a friends house
7. st george
8. sushi house
9. any LA dance magic convention
10. the temple

nine. Weird things about me

1. im obsessed with sushi
2. i have the grinch memorized
3. i change my fingernail polish color daily
4. i hate when people poke me
5. i can sleep in till 5 or later (if i even get a chance)
6. i love playing grand theft auto
7. i sing, but i hate singing for others
8. my room is either completely spotless, or you cant even walk in its so dirty.
9. i can immitate people almost exactly.

eight. Things I am going to do this summer

1. meet atleast 20 new people
2. kiss some men
3. tan, tan, tan.
4. go to peaks with the homies
5. drive around
6. hang out with long lost friends
7. dance, duh.
8. play with my bestfriend brittany everyday before she moves! :(

seven. Things I am thinking of.

1. diet coke, thinking about and drinking.
2. the boy im crushing on, duh!
3. how im gunna keep britt from moving...
4. how much it sucks for the people in school right now.
5. morp
6. my sweet 16! ahh only 12 more days.
7. about my bestfriend jakelle, havent seen her in 3 days! :(

six. Things I am wearing.

1. my grey knitted uggs
2. sequined tank top from urban
3. my dope necklace i wear 24/7
4. my chanel ring
5. 4 earrings
6. leggings

five. Things I am worried about

1. my sweet 16 party
2. getting crappy grades
3. my sisters. i love them, therefore. i worry.
4. not getting my license on time
5. end of the school year

four. Things on my floor

1. shoes
2. make-up
3. sweats from sleeping last night
4. my pillows

three. Things I want to do today

1. dance. kinda have no choice. i do it everyday.
2. see my sister
3. finish any homework

two. Things I will reveal

1. i have been driving for 3 months. yet im not 16 for another 12 days.
2. i put the weight in staceys bag... IM SORRY STACEY :)

one. A Secret

1. im still head over heels for him; yet i say im over him, ugh.

gone mad.

What ever happened to happiness? This year has been filled with so much, it's hard to comprehend. Girls, you're all completely incredible, don't let some guy determine your future. Because we deserve nothing but the best. We take life too seriously. Or not serious enough. I have heard of young kids getting into trouble.. smoking, drinking, swearing, etc. When I was younger, I didn't even know what any of that was. Let alone... just figuring out what everything was just a few years ago. Each generation things are changing drastically. And we are losing some amazing people around us because of it.

When you lose someone, someone you love. It's honestly the hardest thing you could ever go through. and no matter how much time has passed. it never really goes away. You may think things are starting to get better, then all of a sudden a flashback comes to you, or you hear a song that reminds you of that person, and it hits you all over again. You start to fall apart for the hundredth time, and you're tired of feeling this way. It's almost as if you'd feel bad if you moved on.. but in reality, that person you lost only wants you to move on and be happy. Without happiness, it's hard to find love ourselves, and with that; causes it hard to love others.

We need to start opening our eyes to the world and see what is really going on. We need to stop this chaos and let people know that we care and are here for them. I sure don't want to lose anybody else.. these past couple years have truley made me think and think hard. I don't want to lose anybody else, and i'm guessing same goes to you. Lets fix this torn world, and make good of whats gone mad.