Hong Kong

I had the privilege to travel to Hong Kong with my dance studio The Vibe and perform in the Chinese New Years Parade! It was amazing. My absolute favorite trip I've been on. and I spent it with my favorite people. I will never forget this.

Here Comes Happiness

It's almost as if right when I though things couldn't get any worse... It all just suddenly seems to get better. I honestly haven't been this happy in a long time. And I feel more confidant that I ever have. And it is all because of one boy. He is one of my best friends, and I've found myself falling for him. And he has helped me learn to always accept and feel comfortable with your flaws, that way no one can ever use them against you. And he makes sure I feel important every time we talk.
If someone makes you happy, then the rest shouldn't even matter. And I am learning that. I am not the type of girl to have a boy friend, but he honestly makes me see things in different ways. He is different then all the others. And we are already so close that we have an amazing friendship built. He has seen every side of me. Good, and bad. And he still wants to be with me. And that makes me like him that much more.
When you find a guy that is respectful, opens all the doors for you, helps you with your homework, gets you little things "just because", and is always putting you first before other things... Keep him.

It Starts Today

Today is going to be my first day to happiness. i'm changing for the better. And I cannot give up. Because excuses are for people who don't want it bad enough. I'm doing it for the past boyfriends, for that ONE dress, to actually see a change in my body and health, for all the times it put me in bad moods, for that confidance boost, for being able to love my reflection, for summer time in shorts and bikinis, for getting rid of my big boob reputation, for the stares, for those killer legs, for being able to sit and feel comfortable, for proving them all wrong, for acutally being comfortable with a guy picking me up, for all the boys i wasn't good enough for, for the gap between my legs, for rewarding myself with clothes, for being able to pull off wearing that certain shirt, for loving myself, for being able to try on clothes and not saying "i'm bloated", for being the healthy friend, for all the times i let it get the best of me, for the people who ever dared to call me fat, I am doing this for ME.

Falling Into Place

It's like one moment I'm breaking and the next, I'm just fine. I guess you could say filling your schedule really does work. When I'm up to absolutely nothing is when it actually hits me. I am usually always doing something. Lucky for me. But there are those moments alone when I over think everything, and I start to miss things and regret things and wish I could change things. But I cannot make up my mind of what I actually want. It's like I want it all and nothing all at the same time. I need to actually think about whats most important in my life. What priorities I need to put first and what priorities I need to put last. I need to start seriously thinking about my future and putting in perspective, what could affect my future in good or bad ways. But I still cannot make up my mind with things and I really wish that I could. When I let go of things, I always regret it. But am i just regreting and missing it in the moments when i'm alone and not doing anything? Or do I honestly regret and miss these things. you know... I honestly wish I knew myself. I have been letting go of things to chose my happiness. But I always feel like that thing could have potentially been my happiness. It is all a blur to me and hopefully soon I can clear my thoughts and make decisions. No matter how great things may seem, they always change. Life goes on, and it sucks sometimes, but new great things always come around. until then, I can only hope for the best. The two hardest things for me personally is the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage to accept that you've waited for nothing.

Some one once told me that, "the biggest room in the world, is the room for improvement" and I agree completely with that. We can improve in any aspect of our lifes. In our hobbies, our kindness, health, relationships with family & friends, etc. A big one for me is relationships with friends. I have to always remind myself that bad things are always going to happen in my life. People will hurt you. But i can’t use that as an excuse to fail or to hurt someone back. I'll only hurt myself. And I have learned that first hand in many situations. Everyone is bound to mess up or fail. But it's how we react to it is what matters. We need to improve our attitudes. And improve our relationship with God. If we work on that first, I truely believe that everything else should fall into place.

The Never Ending

It's never going to end now is it? I thought you would handle all of this more maturely. You both are acting like you are in junior high again. I hope you know that you were once one of the most important people in my life for a very long time. And as we both see, that has changed. I feel bad for you both for the fact that she is taking everything I say, thinking it's about you. Because clearly that is something she can use to help her feel better about your relationship with her. It's funny how when you finally get over someone, you start seeing them in a whole new perspective. sucks now that your back in a relationship, because your not youself, all because she's your personal tampon. Contrary to your belief, it doesn't bother me to give up on you. But what does bother me is she isn't dropping it. It could all be done with, but your girlfriend just loves to drag it on making it more dramatic than it needs to be. But congratulations, she has won. I have finally stopped trying. You are out of my life. Probably forever. But just remember, that when you realize that you lost your best friend, it was your fault. I have such low expectations for you now. You've disappointed me, and it's funny to me. Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about friendship. But rather makes me realize that some friends really are just that selfish to cut you completely out for someone else. Comes to show who your friends are, huh? I think the hardest part of this whole situation is that neither of us knows what’s going on. Neither of us knows what the other is thinking completely. And we are both trying to make decisions on something we don’t really know. Because the only people really doing the talking is me and her. And yes we both know you're talking to her. But then there is me who doesn't hear a word. But even though I now see what a jerk you turned out to be, I still find myself picturing the good part about you. Because I know the good part. So please do us all a favor and stop this. I wanted it to end a while ago. And I keep seeing crap all over about it. I'm done with both of you. This has been such a waste of time. And congrats to her for trying her best to make my life miserable like she told me she wanted to. What a great goal in life? Looks like a keeper to me..