Sunday, July 31, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
I've been thinking a lot about the past, and how I spent my time and the people in it. Do I miss it? ABSOLUTELY. I love my life now, but the way things used to be seemed so perfect. It almost hurts to look back at those times, mainly because now when I look at those people I see how much they have changed. And how much trust I have lost in them. It's almost heart breaking to see it. There is certain things that I wish stayed the same. It is hard when you put your trust into someone after they hurt you once, not thinking if they would hurt you again. And the next thing you know. It's back to the same thing and your heart is broken all over again. I've tried so hard not to make it bother me, but it keeps nagging me in the back of my head. Especially on the days when you have absolutely nothing to do, so you start to analyze your life and it pops up in your head yet again? I need to get over it, I need to move on. Frankly, I have.. but there are still those days where i think about it. I miss what we had... I miss HIM.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
You have all heard of "dot dot dot". When the sentence isn't closed off and it has left you hanging like there is something more. Recently I have closed some of the people I care most about with that "..." and let me tell you, it was not easy. There has been major changes I have made in my life. Changes that I never thought I'd be making, but in the past year I knew i needed to. I was afraid of doing this, but the key of change, is to let go of fear. But the things I know I am leaving behind, I also know what is ahead of me, and that there is more to life. Like everyone says, "when one door closes, another opens". I was at the point where I was TOO comfortable, and I had no motivation to want to be better or do better... so I needed to get out of my comfort zone and experience more things, bigger things. Especially to see if it was just me feeling that way or if it was the place I was at. People change, whether we like it or not. And we have to accept that. At times like these, I have also been able to see who my true friends were. To see how people treated me once they knew... whether they acted the same towards me, completely ignored me, or felt betrayed. And it really came out through a lot of them. I was also able to get incite from people other then my friends and family to see if what I was doing could benefit me. And with the decision I have made I feel that it will. But there is no doubt that I will miss the people and things I have left behind. But if they are truly my friends, they will always have my back no matter what I do. Thank you Studio 1 for everything you have done, i'll miss having you in my life.