It's like one moment I'm breaking and the next, I'm just fine. I guess you could say filling your schedule really does work. When I'm up to absolutely nothing is when it actually hits me. I am usually always doing something. Lucky for me. But there are those moments alone when I over think everything, and I start to miss things and regret things and wish I could change things. But I cannot make up my mind of what I actually want. It's like I want it all and nothing all at the same time. I need to actually think about whats most important in my life. What priorities I need to put first and what priorities I need to put last. I need to start seriously thinking about my future and putting in perspective, what could affect my future in good or bad ways. But I still cannot make up my mind with things and I really wish that I could. When I let go of things, I always regret it. But am i just regreting and missing it in the moments when i'm alone and not doing anything? Or do I honestly regret and miss these things. you know... I honestly wish I knew myself. I have been letting go of things to chose my happiness. But I always feel like that thing could have potentially been my happiness. It is all a blur to me and hopefully soon I can clear my thoughts and make decisions. No matter how great things may seem, they always change. Life goes on, and it sucks sometimes, but new great things always come around. until then, I can only hope for the best. The two hardest things for me personally is the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage to accept that you've waited for nothing.
Some one once told me that, "the biggest room in the world, is the room for improvement" and I agree completely with that. We can improve in any aspect of our lifes. In our hobbies, our kindness, health, relationships with family & friends, etc. A big one for me is relationships with friends. I have to always remind myself that bad things are always going to happen in my life. People will hurt you. But i can’t use that as an excuse to fail or to hurt someone back. I'll only hurt myself. And I have learned that first hand in many situations. Everyone is bound to mess up or fail. But it's how we react to it is what matters. We need to improve our attitudes. And improve our relationship with God. If we work on that first, I truely believe that everything else should fall into place.